After much scientific research and the running of human trials I have come to the conclusion that there are three different kinds of cool people. There is the current, trendy cool, and then there is the master of life's little secrets kind of cool, and finally there is the kind of cool that exists only in the mind of someone who use to be the first kind of cool and no longer is, but also has not transitioned into the second category.
We have all come in contact with the first two types of cool human beings. The first type is that person who always looks good in the trendiest fashions and is hip to the new tech gadgets and actually knows how to use them, the newest slang words just naturally roll off their tongue. They are current with the now, and very concerned with themselves. The second kind of cool personality is not necessarily defined by their clothes or language, it is their state of being... their approach to life if you will. They are cool because they don't necessarily buy into trends and the current going's on. These cool cats usually are not even aware of what is considered the current or trendy. They are usually a bit older and they are very comfortable in the roll they play in the world, and don't let much bother them.
So that takes me to the last category of cool. There is a good chance that due to the fact that I am using the word "cool" which isn't anymore, and the fact I left this group to the last you have figured out that this is where I belong. These are my peeps. The I use to be current and with it and then a whole bunch of life happened and I didn't have the time or money to transition with the trends, nor did I pay enough attention to myself to be in touch with who I really am category.
You have seen us, with our new, but out-of-date jeans two or three years behind in style. We do our hair in the most modern cuts and colours but our makeup never changes. We are on our cell phones like everyone else but we are talking because texting takes us too long. We drive our new vehicles but they will be white, or some other plain colour, and have music produced between 1975 to 1998 in the CD player. We purchase modern looking purses but they will be matched with comfortable shoes. We know what the new tech gadgets do, we just don't use them. We listen to our children so we know that "sick" means "excellent", but we still use words like "good" and "bad". We are capable, strong and take care of business everyday, as well as all of the people in our lives, but we will do it with self judgement and a sense of never being able to do enough. We do not have all the secrets of life figured out, and some days it feels like none of them.
After reading this don't worry if you discovered that you may belong in this category. We are a welcoming group. I say we should carry on mentally living life in the memory of our peak years, feeling that we got it 'going on'. Who is to say what cool really is. As long as we are not actually wearing our one piece jean jumpsuits buried in the back of the closet, or back combing our bangs I say we are good.
Travel through life with your head held high, you deserve to be comfortable and confident in your own kind of coolness. Also, it makes it harder to get that accidental glance of your ass in the store window as you walk by.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Everday Awesome
The Everyday Awesome.......Simple Things to Please Your Soul.
Getting the piece of cake that has the fancy icing.
Deciding to buy something and finding out it is on sale when it rings through.
Your car finally starting when you beg "please just this one last time".
The smell of fresh baked bread when you walk in the door.
Warm sheets or towels right out of the dryer.
The taste of something you use to love to eat when you were young.
Finding a five or ten dollar bill in a pocket.
A card in the mail from a friend and it's not your birthday.
The first warm days of spring.
Turning on the radio and your favorite song of all time is on.
The way sun feels coming through the window on a cold winter day.
The first sip of a cold beer.
The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show music.
The sound your dog makes when he flops down to lay by your feet.
Remembering favorite times with favorite friends.
Laughing so hard you can't breath for a second or two.
Opening a bill and somehow there is a credit applied to your account.
Being the last car in the construction line up to be let through before they turn it to the stop sign again.
Parking by a meter that is stuck with time showing.
Trying on a pair of jeans you have not worn in a while and they fit.
Everyday has something simply awesome to offer.
Getting the piece of cake that has the fancy icing.
Deciding to buy something and finding out it is on sale when it rings through.
Your car finally starting when you beg "please just this one last time".
The smell of fresh baked bread when you walk in the door.
Warm sheets or towels right out of the dryer.
The taste of something you use to love to eat when you were young.
Finding a five or ten dollar bill in a pocket.
A card in the mail from a friend and it's not your birthday.
The first warm days of spring.
Turning on the radio and your favorite song of all time is on.
The way sun feels coming through the window on a cold winter day.
The first sip of a cold beer.
The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show music.
The sound your dog makes when he flops down to lay by your feet.
Remembering favorite times with favorite friends.
Laughing so hard you can't breath for a second or two.
Opening a bill and somehow there is a credit applied to your account.
Being the last car in the construction line up to be let through before they turn it to the stop sign again.
Parking by a meter that is stuck with time showing.
Trying on a pair of jeans you have not worn in a while and they fit.
Everyday has something simply awesome to offer.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Really, this is reality?
That's it, I have decided my next career choice...Reality TV Star. Popular culture has changed the entire definition of the words "reality" and "celebrity". There once was a time when you had to be able to do something to be a celebrity, and the word real actually represented something that may actually happen Now, not so much!
Reality has always been determined by perception. Now we have added a new aspect to that perception that the more fake tanned you are, the bigger your fake boobs are, the more incredibly vain you are about your clothes and physical looks, and the more disregard you show for money the more real your life is. So the way I figure it, I have to do nothing else but become as fake as possible to be a reality TV star. I can do that! Of course I am too old to be a teen mom, I have too many commitments to be living single in a house full of others, so we will have to go with the housewife theme.
In the development of my plan to launch my reality TV personality there were a few obstacles to overcome. First being that I actually have no money to have cosmetic surgery, or have my nails done weekly, or purchase all of the spray tan needed for an entire season. The savvy reality stars have moved to spray because it is more health conscious. I guess that weird fake orange colour is safer than fake light. As far as fake boobs I figure I will just finally spend the money on a really expensive bra with superior lift and separation capabilities. The diamond studded, incredibly long fake nails may be an issue. In a dry run of an episode one of my press on nails came shooting off while I was feeding the dogs and poked a pug in the eye. So we will have to address the safety issues there.
The second obstacle for the show is that my life is incredibly real, so therefore incredibly...um, boring. But in the true spirit of the reality TV world, events can be morphed into bits and bites, and words spoken and the faces made can be then strung together to form dramatic, false representation of what actually happened creating a new reality.
This will be awesome, my life will look like it rocks! The monthly trip for my daughter's Ortho appointment can be filmed as just a door closing to a doctor's office and then they can show a clip of me tearing up as we walk back to the car. The viewer doesn't need to know it is because the Orthodontist said she needs six more freakin' months of braces at $180 per. The cameras can also show scenes such as dramatic face offs between my teenage son and I in the kitchen. Panning back and forth between tense faces staring at each other with neither of us speaking. Again, the viewer doesn't need to know it is because I am telling him that it is ridiculous that he sets his dirty dishes on the counter right next to the dishwasher instead of taking the three seconds necessary to open the damn thing and place them in it. The almost daily trips to the grocery store will have to be edited showing the fronts of expensive stores to make it look like I have a shopping addiction. Conversations with my ex husband can be shown as short clips of exasperation, no fancy camera work needed there, unfortunately. There can be an episode where I become totally furious while working in my home office, it will look like I am handling the family business when in actual reality I am really upset because my mother finally figured out how to get on facebook and sent me a friend request...can nothing just be mine! As far as the dog kennel, I was thinking we could portray it as a disturbing obsession I have to hoard animals and I am always having to get rid of the old and bring in new ones.
I have put a lot of thought into this and I think we can pull it off. I have spoken to the kids about it and they are all in. Really they are at an age now that my parenting has already done so much psychological damage that a reality TV show exposing every detail of our lives will just go on the list. And if the kids can possibly get a spin off featuring themselves going to college, well that would just be a bonus.
A season or two of a reality TV show and I should be sitting pretty financially. I am not sure how much reality stars make but I am guessing price negotiations will start during the pitch of the show to the networks. If I want to ensure that I am banking the bucks I will have to pitch it with a great name. I am thinking something like, The Real Housewife ( has to be singular because I have no friends here) of the North, or Say Yes To The Mess, or House Boss, and then there is my personal favorite... Valium Vodka and Tears.
Reality has always been determined by perception. Now we have added a new aspect to that perception that the more fake tanned you are, the bigger your fake boobs are, the more incredibly vain you are about your clothes and physical looks, and the more disregard you show for money the more real your life is. So the way I figure it, I have to do nothing else but become as fake as possible to be a reality TV star. I can do that! Of course I am too old to be a teen mom, I have too many commitments to be living single in a house full of others, so we will have to go with the housewife theme.
In the development of my plan to launch my reality TV personality there were a few obstacles to overcome. First being that I actually have no money to have cosmetic surgery, or have my nails done weekly, or purchase all of the spray tan needed for an entire season. The savvy reality stars have moved to spray because it is more health conscious. I guess that weird fake orange colour is safer than fake light. As far as fake boobs I figure I will just finally spend the money on a really expensive bra with superior lift and separation capabilities. The diamond studded, incredibly long fake nails may be an issue. In a dry run of an episode one of my press on nails came shooting off while I was feeding the dogs and poked a pug in the eye. So we will have to address the safety issues there.
The second obstacle for the show is that my life is incredibly real, so therefore incredibly...um, boring. But in the true spirit of the reality TV world, events can be morphed into bits and bites, and words spoken and the faces made can be then strung together to form dramatic, false representation of what actually happened creating a new reality.
This will be awesome, my life will look like it rocks! The monthly trip for my daughter's Ortho appointment can be filmed as just a door closing to a doctor's office and then they can show a clip of me tearing up as we walk back to the car. The viewer doesn't need to know it is because the Orthodontist said she needs six more freakin' months of braces at $180 per. The cameras can also show scenes such as dramatic face offs between my teenage son and I in the kitchen. Panning back and forth between tense faces staring at each other with neither of us speaking. Again, the viewer doesn't need to know it is because I am telling him that it is ridiculous that he sets his dirty dishes on the counter right next to the dishwasher instead of taking the three seconds necessary to open the damn thing and place them in it. The almost daily trips to the grocery store will have to be edited showing the fronts of expensive stores to make it look like I have a shopping addiction. Conversations with my ex husband can be shown as short clips of exasperation, no fancy camera work needed there, unfortunately. There can be an episode where I become totally furious while working in my home office, it will look like I am handling the family business when in actual reality I am really upset because my mother finally figured out how to get on facebook and sent me a friend request...can nothing just be mine! As far as the dog kennel, I was thinking we could portray it as a disturbing obsession I have to hoard animals and I am always having to get rid of the old and bring in new ones.
I have put a lot of thought into this and I think we can pull it off. I have spoken to the kids about it and they are all in. Really they are at an age now that my parenting has already done so much psychological damage that a reality TV show exposing every detail of our lives will just go on the list. And if the kids can possibly get a spin off featuring themselves going to college, well that would just be a bonus.
A season or two of a reality TV show and I should be sitting pretty financially. I am not sure how much reality stars make but I am guessing price negotiations will start during the pitch of the show to the networks. If I want to ensure that I am banking the bucks I will have to pitch it with a great name. I am thinking something like, The Real Housewife ( has to be singular because I have no friends here) of the North, or Say Yes To The Mess, or House Boss, and then there is my personal favorite... Valium Vodka and Tears.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Time is on my mind
It has been years and years since I have had this much time to do whatever I wanted day in and day out. Of course I have some nonnegotiable responsibilities such as taking care of the dogs and the kids...probably should have written that in opposite order. And of course there are the standard house and home duties such as cooking, cleaning and other such nonsense. But overall, I have a lot of free time that I have to organize and do something with. It is a slightly overwhelming concept. It is a lot of responsibility to have no demands on your time. Sounds ludicrous I realize, but it is a major burden to shoulder to be totally in control of your own time schedule.
I didn't realize there was so much time in the day. Up until very recently I have owned at least one business, and usually had one or two additional contracts going on at the same time. My days were filled with running from one task to another. A good day meant only five items on the to-do-list carried over to tomorrow. Between raising kids and working it seemed the norm to just keep slogging each day to try to get more done then the previous one. I was immersed in the belief that the amount of time available was controlled by the amount of stuff that needed to get done. But I have come to learn that concept may not be true.
Time may indeed be controlled by a force outside of our world as we know it. How else could the drive that takes an average 12 minutes take a half an hour the morning you leave the house late. Or how can a day suddenly be gone and you realize you have not done anything productive, unless you count making an entire batch of cookies to replace the one you ate watching morning TV. The one that gets me the most is how the hours can take so long to pass the day you are putting off going for your morning run. On a larger scale, it is a confusing act of space and time that suddenly our little tiny children can look like the adults they are so quickly becoming, but yet an evening of homework, dishes and bedtime can take an age to end.
I don't know what the trick is to the mystery of time. I don't know why my favorite songs have become "blast from the past classic hits", I don't know how it is my 25 school year reunion in a couple years, but yet I have not managed to get to cleaning out that kitchen drawer that has everything from corn holders to a child's grade four report card.
The only thing I do know is that I want to live every moment of it, appreciating both the slow and the quick moments of time.
I didn't realize there was so much time in the day. Up until very recently I have owned at least one business, and usually had one or two additional contracts going on at the same time. My days were filled with running from one task to another. A good day meant only five items on the to-do-list carried over to tomorrow. Between raising kids and working it seemed the norm to just keep slogging each day to try to get more done then the previous one. I was immersed in the belief that the amount of time available was controlled by the amount of stuff that needed to get done. But I have come to learn that concept may not be true.
Time may indeed be controlled by a force outside of our world as we know it. How else could the drive that takes an average 12 minutes take a half an hour the morning you leave the house late. Or how can a day suddenly be gone and you realize you have not done anything productive, unless you count making an entire batch of cookies to replace the one you ate watching morning TV. The one that gets me the most is how the hours can take so long to pass the day you are putting off going for your morning run. On a larger scale, it is a confusing act of space and time that suddenly our little tiny children can look like the adults they are so quickly becoming, but yet an evening of homework, dishes and bedtime can take an age to end.
I don't know what the trick is to the mystery of time. I don't know why my favorite songs have become "blast from the past classic hits", I don't know how it is my 25 school year reunion in a couple years, but yet I have not managed to get to cleaning out that kitchen drawer that has everything from corn holders to a child's grade four report card.
The only thing I do know is that I want to live every moment of it, appreciating both the slow and the quick moments of time.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I have once again started something and not followed through. I had set a goal to write daily in this blog...well maybe a more realistic goal would be three times a week.... okay, maybe once a week.
Don't get me wrong, I am writing daily. I am just not writing here. But I am writing, maybe not as actively as I had started out.
I have all sorts of reasons and justifications for not writing. I mean really, there is so much going on in my life every day. Its no wonder why I don't have an hour or two to sit and write about my exciting life. I'm living it man, not writing about it.
Today is a perfect example of the demands on my time, its only eleven in the morning and I have already had a pretty full day. I have made french toast for two cheery, delightful children this morning as they yawned and stretched and woke up positive, ready to face a day of school. You know that they appreciated it too, at least I think that's what they said as I handed them their healthy lunch made with love.
After a delightful drive to drop the children in the school parking lot begging to be picked up early, I had to rush home to feed and clean up after five dogs who apparently would all like to break the sound barrier with their greetings. After scooping, comes the walking. This morning was only three dogs pulling me erratically down the hill as their noses lead them from side to side of the trail. This excitement is all happening in barely above freezing temperatures.
Once all my work outside is done and I am frozen solid, it is in the house to have a shower to remove the puppy perfume. Now that I am looking good I am on to the important work of laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Between stain removal and washing stuff off the mirror that I can never figure out how in the hell it gets on there, I have very little time for writing about things like how popular culture is effecting the development of our personal relationships. I mean come on, I have too many things to do. Like today I have already booked a hair colouring appointment (not mine mind you, but rather my son's as he has decide to go black all over with red streaks throughout, his dad will love it!), I have searched the house for my daughter's novel study book after she sent me three text saying she couldn't find it anywhere and it just had to be here ( turns out it was in the side pocket of her bag at school), and tried to figure out how to turn on the damn Wii fit.
In all this madness I have to make sure to take a minute for myself. So I am off to eat four cookies (I will try to get the Wii fit going later) and get caught up on current events, it is very crucial to know who is indeed the baby daddy, or who has found it necessary to go to divorce court, and finally what crucial health matters the Doctors have decided to scare the crap out of millions of viewers with.
So, tomorrow I will try to get back on the writing plan, but we will have to see how the schedule goes....I think there might be a breaking story on how using certain styles of toilet seats may be the number one cause of lower back pain.
Don't get me wrong, I am writing daily. I am just not writing here. But I am writing, maybe not as actively as I had started out.
I have all sorts of reasons and justifications for not writing. I mean really, there is so much going on in my life every day. Its no wonder why I don't have an hour or two to sit and write about my exciting life. I'm living it man, not writing about it.
Today is a perfect example of the demands on my time, its only eleven in the morning and I have already had a pretty full day. I have made french toast for two cheery, delightful children this morning as they yawned and stretched and woke up positive, ready to face a day of school. You know that they appreciated it too, at least I think that's what they said as I handed them their healthy lunch made with love.
After a delightful drive to drop the children in the school parking lot begging to be picked up early, I had to rush home to feed and clean up after five dogs who apparently would all like to break the sound barrier with their greetings. After scooping, comes the walking. This morning was only three dogs pulling me erratically down the hill as their noses lead them from side to side of the trail. This excitement is all happening in barely above freezing temperatures.
Once all my work outside is done and I am frozen solid, it is in the house to have a shower to remove the puppy perfume. Now that I am looking good I am on to the important work of laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Between stain removal and washing stuff off the mirror that I can never figure out how in the hell it gets on there, I have very little time for writing about things like how popular culture is effecting the development of our personal relationships. I mean come on, I have too many things to do. Like today I have already booked a hair colouring appointment (not mine mind you, but rather my son's as he has decide to go black all over with red streaks throughout, his dad will love it!), I have searched the house for my daughter's novel study book after she sent me three text saying she couldn't find it anywhere and it just had to be here ( turns out it was in the side pocket of her bag at school), and tried to figure out how to turn on the damn Wii fit.
In all this madness I have to make sure to take a minute for myself. So I am off to eat four cookies (I will try to get the Wii fit going later) and get caught up on current events, it is very crucial to know who is indeed the baby daddy, or who has found it necessary to go to divorce court, and finally what crucial health matters the Doctors have decided to scare the crap out of millions of viewers with.
So, tomorrow I will try to get back on the writing plan, but we will have to see how the schedule goes....I think there might be a breaking story on how using certain styles of toilet seats may be the number one cause of lower back pain.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Learning curve
As my children get older returning to school is becoming much like Christmas and not in the way you probably think I mean. It used to be a fairly unpleasant activity to get the school supplies and the new clothes needed to be fully prepared for the upcoming academic year, but now it is actually quite easy and relaxed. As young children their, and my, vision was so short sighted, everything needed to be perfect. There was so much importance riding on each item whether it be the pencil sharpener or the type of socks I bought, and it seemed like there was so much stuff needed. Every year felt so expensive and stressful to get two children ready to go back to school.
Now it is really quite enjoyable and simple. At my children's current age it is so much easier to prepare for their academic advancement. School supplies have narrowed to a short list of basically a binder, paper and pens because they are not actually going to use any of the other crap on the list, and if I do buy it they will loose it before they need it and just borrow off a friend anyway. The clothes have been narrowed to cool shoes for $130, awesome jeans for $150 and a $180 hoodie, done! Because they don't want anything else, and won't wear anything else if I do buy it so...easy peasy.
Christmas has become the same. Being a single mother I always felt so much stress at Christmas time. I had to make things perfect and comfortable because my poor babies had to deal with the stress of being torn between their dad and I during the holiday season. I use to put so much effort into trying to make each present just right to try and make up for it. They didn't necessarily get tons of stuff, but I would be thinking about what I was going to do for Christmas in July for goodness sake. Eventually I realized that it has nothing to do with the stuff, presents are never going to be perfect and neither is going back to school. Get a few items they actually want and few things they actually need and then be done. Christmas is way more fun now, and so is going back to school.
The one thing I am not sure about though, is they both want a facial piercing this year, my daughter her nose and my son his lip. I have put everyone off until after first term...top grades and good work comments or we don't even discuss it (which is very possible as they are both good students, I wasn't thinking clearly). I will have to discuss it again with them. There is a part of me that doesn't actually care if the kids get a piercing because it is something they will wear for a while and then take out when they are tired of it. But there is another part of me that feels I should say no because I don't want to be judged by other parents, teachers and their father.
I am not sure what I am going to do, but I do know that the conversion of facial piercings will surface again, and we will have to come to a conclusion at some point...maybe I could get away with telling them to ask Santa?
Now it is really quite enjoyable and simple. At my children's current age it is so much easier to prepare for their academic advancement. School supplies have narrowed to a short list of basically a binder, paper and pens because they are not actually going to use any of the other crap on the list, and if I do buy it they will loose it before they need it and just borrow off a friend anyway. The clothes have been narrowed to cool shoes for $130, awesome jeans for $150 and a $180 hoodie, done! Because they don't want anything else, and won't wear anything else if I do buy it so...easy peasy.
Christmas has become the same. Being a single mother I always felt so much stress at Christmas time. I had to make things perfect and comfortable because my poor babies had to deal with the stress of being torn between their dad and I during the holiday season. I use to put so much effort into trying to make each present just right to try and make up for it. They didn't necessarily get tons of stuff, but I would be thinking about what I was going to do for Christmas in July for goodness sake. Eventually I realized that it has nothing to do with the stuff, presents are never going to be perfect and neither is going back to school. Get a few items they actually want and few things they actually need and then be done. Christmas is way more fun now, and so is going back to school.
The one thing I am not sure about though, is they both want a facial piercing this year, my daughter her nose and my son his lip. I have put everyone off until after first term...top grades and good work comments or we don't even discuss it (which is very possible as they are both good students, I wasn't thinking clearly). I will have to discuss it again with them. There is a part of me that doesn't actually care if the kids get a piercing because it is something they will wear for a while and then take out when they are tired of it. But there is another part of me that feels I should say no because I don't want to be judged by other parents, teachers and their father.
I am not sure what I am going to do, but I do know that the conversion of facial piercings will surface again, and we will have to come to a conclusion at some point...maybe I could get away with telling them to ask Santa?
Monday, August 30, 2010
Mirror mirror on the wall...
You know those moments when you have and outer body experience and you see your behaviour clearly... don't you hate that! I find that I am having more and more of those moments. I don't know if that is a sign of enlightenment and emotional maturity, or if I am having a psychotic split. But one thing I do know is that dogs and teenagers are perfect mirrors of every single flaw you may posses as a human being.
I am consistently amazed how all of the dogs start acting the same after about three days here. I was thinking is was just the 'pack mentality' thing. That all of the dogs pick up energy from each other and start to act the same, emulating a pack as their wild ancestors would have. But then I started to notice a vague similarity in their behaviour to something I couldn't put my finger on right away. There was something about the dogs behaviour that I recognized. Then it dawned on me...it is my children. The dogs start to act like my teenagers. Completely expectant of total attention and excitement about whatever is important to them at that second, totally deaf to the sound of your voice until the third or fourth request to stop, or start, whatever you would like them to do, and then crushed because they think your mad at them ("why are you always yelling?"...don't be worried dog owners I am not actually yelling at your dogs I just raised my voice a little), and they are either manically excited or totally guarded and abrasive when company comes over and you never know which it will be.
It was a cruel dawning of reality that I am actually the axis of behaviour development in my world. In the past I have always been able to explain away any connection of negative behaviour between myself and those that I am in stewardship over. My own dog is a eight month old buffoon. But you see, I could blame that on the fact that we rescued him from the SPCA, so naturally he came with issues. As for my children's crazy making behaviour, it was the divorce at a young age and ultimately their father's influence that was the problem of course.
But as they say, the mirror never lies. I should be grateful for the chance to grow as a parent and person in general. So, I guess this means that I have more work to do on my journey of personal development, and need to examine what it is that I do to enable the behaviour I see develop in those that I am responsible for. On the other hand, it may just be easier start to addressing that huge need for Goldfish kenneling instead, ha ha.
I am consistently amazed how all of the dogs start acting the same after about three days here. I was thinking is was just the 'pack mentality' thing. That all of the dogs pick up energy from each other and start to act the same, emulating a pack as their wild ancestors would have. But then I started to notice a vague similarity in their behaviour to something I couldn't put my finger on right away. There was something about the dogs behaviour that I recognized. Then it dawned on me...it is my children. The dogs start to act like my teenagers. Completely expectant of total attention and excitement about whatever is important to them at that second, totally deaf to the sound of your voice until the third or fourth request to stop, or start, whatever you would like them to do, and then crushed because they think your mad at them ("why are you always yelling?"...don't be worried dog owners I am not actually yelling at your dogs I just raised my voice a little), and they are either manically excited or totally guarded and abrasive when company comes over and you never know which it will be.
It was a cruel dawning of reality that I am actually the axis of behaviour development in my world. In the past I have always been able to explain away any connection of negative behaviour between myself and those that I am in stewardship over. My own dog is a eight month old buffoon. But you see, I could blame that on the fact that we rescued him from the SPCA, so naturally he came with issues. As for my children's crazy making behaviour, it was the divorce at a young age and ultimately their father's influence that was the problem of course.
But as they say, the mirror never lies. I should be grateful for the chance to grow as a parent and person in general. So, I guess this means that I have more work to do on my journey of personal development, and need to examine what it is that I do to enable the behaviour I see develop in those that I am responsible for. On the other hand, it may just be easier start to addressing that huge need for Goldfish kenneling instead, ha ha.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hi Tech
I am just busting out my new age communication butterfly wings... I just created a Facebook account! After years of telling my friends that I wasn't going to Facebook. I was going to hold out and be one of the very few people in mdern history to not be on Facebook. But alas, why have I not learned to never say never!
Moving from the city where I was a few blocks from my dearest friends to a city an hour away, very quickly changed my view of Facebook's usefulness.
I think I actually felt kind of smug about the fact I wasn't on Facebook. I was above the inexplicable need to post my every move and be constantly updating my status while checking on other's. I was far too busy in my day to be bothered with playing farming, or collecting cupcakes or smiley faces and other such silly activities. Facebook is for teenagers to exchange comments about each other and pictures with their friends. But...what the heck I will give in and join the masses and create a Facebook account. Now, of course, it is just for posting pictures of the new place, and the dogs. Goodness knows I don't really have time for Facebook.
Turns out I am completely Facebook challenged! Crap on a cracker there is a ton of stuff going on in there. I eventually got my profile picture loaded and got a few other pictures on there. I had ridiculous time trying to figure out wall-to-wall and how to know when they are other people's walls, and then how to get back to your own. Holy cow.
But it is done, and I have taken the leap into the world of virtual communication. Not only do I have a Facebook account, but I have a blog. They are not time wasters, no not at all. You can look it as two very current and cool communicate tools I can use to keep in touch with my fellow members of this global village we all live in, friends and strangers alike. Or you can look at as my need to spill forth ramblings of whatever is floating around in my brain at the time and pictures of my life (only the ones that don't make me look fat of course) to anyone who cares to view it.
Well, which ever it doesn't matter. You have to move with the times and stay current, besides it is time for me to check my status.
Moving from the city where I was a few blocks from my dearest friends to a city an hour away, very quickly changed my view of Facebook's usefulness.
I think I actually felt kind of smug about the fact I wasn't on Facebook. I was above the inexplicable need to post my every move and be constantly updating my status while checking on other's. I was far too busy in my day to be bothered with playing farming, or collecting cupcakes or smiley faces and other such silly activities. Facebook is for teenagers to exchange comments about each other and pictures with their friends. But...what the heck I will give in and join the masses and create a Facebook account. Now, of course, it is just for posting pictures of the new place, and the dogs. Goodness knows I don't really have time for Facebook.
Turns out I am completely Facebook challenged! Crap on a cracker there is a ton of stuff going on in there. I eventually got my profile picture loaded and got a few other pictures on there. I had ridiculous time trying to figure out wall-to-wall and how to know when they are other people's walls, and then how to get back to your own. Holy cow.
But it is done, and I have taken the leap into the world of virtual communication. Not only do I have a Facebook account, but I have a blog. They are not time wasters, no not at all. You can look it as two very current and cool communicate tools I can use to keep in touch with my fellow members of this global village we all live in, friends and strangers alike. Or you can look at as my need to spill forth ramblings of whatever is floating around in my brain at the time and pictures of my life (only the ones that don't make me look fat of course) to anyone who cares to view it.
Well, which ever it doesn't matter. You have to move with the times and stay current, besides it is time for me to check my status.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
when I grow up
While having my morning coffee, post dog check and pre-waking of children to go town for yet again more school clothes shopping (gack), I caught a glimpse of an interview with Carol Burnett.
It instantly took me back to being a young girl sitting on the living room floor staring up at the TV, with the whole world shut out for an hour, in great anticipation watching Carol Burnett walk out on to her stage to that unforgettable theme song in some fabulous outfit to deliver a wondrously witty monologue.
I was in awe of her because she was beautiful and glamorous, as well as incredibly smart and totally hilariously funny! I sooooo wanted to be her. I wanted to grow up and be a woman who was special and smart, while being funny and interesting. I wanted to be glamorous and sexy while saying smart and witty things... and not care about being considered a bitch, or worry that men would be threatened by me.
I felt the same about Mary Tyler Moore...desperately wanted to be Mary. I had a romantic vision of when I left home and moved to the big city that I would be like Mary. My life was going to be exciting, and adventurous. I would have the guts to face the world and bounce back no matter what happened. I would be talented, smart, funny, thin and pretty all at the same time. Oh ya, and have an awesome apartment, great clothes (probably a few less pantsuits as it was the late 80's not the early 70's) and a zany group of friends. Life would be my oyster and I too would toss my hat in the air and spin around with a smile on my face in the middle of traffic.
Well, it was close to that when I started my life on my own.... I shared an old apartment downtown with two other people with one of whom couldn't stand me, awesome! I had a crap job as a waitress at the Schnitzel Hut with mandatory outfits including lederhosen and feather in felt hat, again awesome! It was the late 80's/early 90's, so need I say any more about the great clothes, and I look terrible in hats. I barely made enough money to buy groceries after paying my share of the rent, had no career direction to strive for and my friends were mostly just drunk. So, as I say close. Practically life imitating art.
My early 20's were a tough time of trying to decipher who I thought I should be, who I really was and who I was going to be for others. I got tired of that and put myself exploration on hold and got married, had two fantastic children. When I was 30 I remembered my desire to be a Carol or Mary. Kept the fantastic kids, got rid of the not so fantastic marriage and moved forward, sometimes slowly and slightly to the side, but indeed forward all the same.
Ten years later at 40, my inner Carol and Mary are starting to surface. I do feel that I am getting to know myself, not the person I think I am suppose to be or the one others think I am, but the actual me. I am funny and smart, and it's not in a bitchy way. I do have something to say and that is alright, I have found the man who is comfortable with my strength. I have discovered that I can do anything, and I am now discovering that it is okay if I do nothing. The world has been my oyster over the years through incredible career moves and business opportunities, and I have enjoyed them all.
As for the glamour...there is not a lot of that. But that is okay, I don't think I want to live the glamorous life anymore, I have to go to sleep too early to be very glamorous. Beside it is hard to scoop poop in heels.
It instantly took me back to being a young girl sitting on the living room floor staring up at the TV, with the whole world shut out for an hour, in great anticipation watching Carol Burnett walk out on to her stage to that unforgettable theme song in some fabulous outfit to deliver a wondrously witty monologue.
I was in awe of her because she was beautiful and glamorous, as well as incredibly smart and totally hilariously funny! I sooooo wanted to be her. I wanted to grow up and be a woman who was special and smart, while being funny and interesting. I wanted to be glamorous and sexy while saying smart and witty things... and not care about being considered a bitch, or worry that men would be threatened by me.
I felt the same about Mary Tyler Moore...desperately wanted to be Mary. I had a romantic vision of when I left home and moved to the big city that I would be like Mary. My life was going to be exciting, and adventurous. I would have the guts to face the world and bounce back no matter what happened. I would be talented, smart, funny, thin and pretty all at the same time. Oh ya, and have an awesome apartment, great clothes (probably a few less pantsuits as it was the late 80's not the early 70's) and a zany group of friends. Life would be my oyster and I too would toss my hat in the air and spin around with a smile on my face in the middle of traffic.
Well, it was close to that when I started my life on my own.... I shared an old apartment downtown with two other people with one of whom couldn't stand me, awesome! I had a crap job as a waitress at the Schnitzel Hut with mandatory outfits including lederhosen and feather in felt hat, again awesome! It was the late 80's/early 90's, so need I say any more about the great clothes, and I look terrible in hats. I barely made enough money to buy groceries after paying my share of the rent, had no career direction to strive for and my friends were mostly just drunk. So, as I say close. Practically life imitating art.
My early 20's were a tough time of trying to decipher who I thought I should be, who I really was and who I was going to be for others. I got tired of that and put myself exploration on hold and got married, had two fantastic children. When I was 30 I remembered my desire to be a Carol or Mary. Kept the fantastic kids, got rid of the not so fantastic marriage and moved forward, sometimes slowly and slightly to the side, but indeed forward all the same.
Ten years later at 40, my inner Carol and Mary are starting to surface. I do feel that I am getting to know myself, not the person I think I am suppose to be or the one others think I am, but the actual me. I am funny and smart, and it's not in a bitchy way. I do have something to say and that is alright, I have found the man who is comfortable with my strength. I have discovered that I can do anything, and I am now discovering that it is okay if I do nothing. The world has been my oyster over the years through incredible career moves and business opportunities, and I have enjoyed them all.
As for the glamour...there is not a lot of that. But that is okay, I don't think I want to live the glamorous life anymore, I have to go to sleep too early to be very glamorous. Beside it is hard to scoop poop in heels.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I have finally done it!
I have finally sat down and started this blog, part of a commitment I made to myself to start writing daily again. It has been a few weeks now that I have been on this journey of my new start with no regular employment.
A month ago I sold my business and home to move to a near by town to live with the man I love, in the process relocating my two teenage children who were of course ecstatic about leaving their friends and everything they knew and felt validated their existence in this world. Because my true love makes a good living and I do have some resources to depend on, we decided that I would stay home and not get a job. I actually feel quite blessed to be able to concentrate on finishing the raising of my two teenagers, assisting him in any way in raising his teenage daughter who spends sometime here off and on, and providing a home for all of us. I am going to love it, it is just difficult to switch gears and will take some time.
It is going to be quite different not working, not producing, not being in total control of my finances and ownership of everything I have and do. I had not been anticipating being in this position at 40. Though I embrace where I am in my life...I am sensing that there will be a fair amount of personal growth happening.
But in truth I am not completely unemployed. I am not spending my entire day lazing about watching the daytime line up,oh no! It turns out that on the beautiful, scenic acreage he has owned for a few years is a dog boarding kennel. He has not had a kennel operator for about a year so it seems just perfect that I could get things organized and open up the kennel for business once again. What an ideal situation! I can still be home and yet produce some income for the family, wonderful!
Yup, wonderful. There are forty kennels in total, so far we have only had four full at one time which may be a good thing. I am quickly figuring out what kind of dogs come to a kennel when their owners go away...the barking kind! Some are the all day barking kind and some are the all night barking kind.
You can't tell right away what kind they are, but they will let you know. Some of those furry little darlings will let you know as soon as their owner's car leaves. It may start off with a small sad howl because they have been abandoned, or may be a happy excited, " let's play", bark to the other dogs that are there. Then, there is my favorite kind of dog that feels it is their personal duty to bark protectively at all the scary things that only come around at two in the morning...As I said, I think there will be a fair amount of personal growth happening.
So, as the early morning sun shines out over the lake and I watch the view brighten with all the colours coming alive in the trees along the hillside I must finish my coffee and close my post, because I also hear the rumblings of a huge German Sheppard who suffers from separation anxiety.
Till tomorrow.
A month ago I sold my business and home to move to a near by town to live with the man I love, in the process relocating my two teenage children who were of course ecstatic about leaving their friends and everything they knew and felt validated their existence in this world. Because my true love makes a good living and I do have some resources to depend on, we decided that I would stay home and not get a job. I actually feel quite blessed to be able to concentrate on finishing the raising of my two teenagers, assisting him in any way in raising his teenage daughter who spends sometime here off and on, and providing a home for all of us. I am going to love it, it is just difficult to switch gears and will take some time.
It is going to be quite different not working, not producing, not being in total control of my finances and ownership of everything I have and do. I had not been anticipating being in this position at 40. Though I embrace where I am in my life...I am sensing that there will be a fair amount of personal growth happening.
But in truth I am not completely unemployed. I am not spending my entire day lazing about watching the daytime line up,oh no! It turns out that on the beautiful, scenic acreage he has owned for a few years is a dog boarding kennel. He has not had a kennel operator for about a year so it seems just perfect that I could get things organized and open up the kennel for business once again. What an ideal situation! I can still be home and yet produce some income for the family, wonderful!
Yup, wonderful. There are forty kennels in total, so far we have only had four full at one time which may be a good thing. I am quickly figuring out what kind of dogs come to a kennel when their owners go away...the barking kind! Some are the all day barking kind and some are the all night barking kind.
You can't tell right away what kind they are, but they will let you know. Some of those furry little darlings will let you know as soon as their owner's car leaves. It may start off with a small sad howl because they have been abandoned, or may be a happy excited, " let's play", bark to the other dogs that are there. Then, there is my favorite kind of dog that feels it is their personal duty to bark protectively at all the scary things that only come around at two in the morning...As I said, I think there will be a fair amount of personal growth happening.
So, as the early morning sun shines out over the lake and I watch the view brighten with all the colours coming alive in the trees along the hillside I must finish my coffee and close my post, because I also hear the rumblings of a huge German Sheppard who suffers from separation anxiety.
Till tomorrow.
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