I am one of the first to make comment, or at least mental note, of those people in crowds who are constantly on their smart phones regardless of the fact they are siting with a friend at a coffee shop, or talking on their bluetooth while buying toothpaste at the drugstore and of the most astounding, people walking down a busy sidewalk and crossing a street while texting.
I have made many, admittedly slightly unkind, comments about how I am puzzled as to why people have gotten to a point in which technology is consuming their attention so constantly that they are never fully present in the moment, but rather floating in the static between virtual and real. In the past I have had a sense of pride that I am not one of those types that has to be plugged in at all times. I am grateful enough for my daily real life existence that I see the value of living the moments I am presently in. I feel I am under no delusion that I must be constantly connected with my finger on the pulse of the happenings of the world for things to continue smoothly.
When I am out visiting with my friends, I am visiting with them. We are connecting and sharing by having the coffee together in real time, not just reading the facebook notification on my smartphone that so-and-so is going out for third doubleshot of the day. I hold a sense of pride about this. It has almost been a 'holier than thou' attitude at times against the poor soul who's chicken dance ring tone has gone off at max volume in the line up at the grocery store. I have thrown many a disdainful glance to those who's phone keep ringing during a dinner out. I don't understand the obsession of the cell phone. I am critical of it and feel very justified.
It was this strong internal belief in who I am that was shattered yesterday, when I realized that I am becoming one of them. A drone plugged into to technology, no longer able to make my own decisions about who I talk to when and where.
Yesterday during a few hour long afternoon getaway with a friend my true self started to emerge. The first hour or so was fine, there was nothing out of the ordinary. We were doing a bit a of shopping, poking around in some interesting shops, very enjoyable. Nearing five 'oclock we decided to go for a bite. It was right around then everything started to go awry. The first buzz of a text sounded..."oh excuse me, this is probably a kid, ha ha". Quickly I read and return a text. "okay, where were we." A minute or two later another buzz. "Sorry, just a sec" I say with a mock face of frustration. Read and answer. Nothing for a few minutes, and the conversation gets back into that roving topic coverage you can only have with an intelligent and interesting friend over a long lunch. But then a buzz/beep, buzz/beep...this is the notification sound of two texts coming in at the same time. Now feeling embarrassed, do I answer or not? It is actually my children, both out supposedly busy doing things on their own thing. So, I offer the standard parent mantra 'kids, geez" and I read and answer, telling them both I am busy. Turns out a voice mail comes in while I am texting. Well, a voicemail will be someone trying to contact me about the Kennel. I will just take it quickly. Then I see a call from another friend as well.
I finish all of my texting and voicemail returning, set the phone down and turn back to my friend with a great big smile and say, "there done, where were we". She says with a kind, but slightly condescending small smirk and eyebrow raise, "Your a busy lady. I don't even know where my phone is."
What! No! That is my line. I am the one who comments on other's obsession with technology. I am the one who is above the societal pressure to be connected at all times in order to feel indispensable. It's me who is above it all...I am the one who leaves their phone in the bottom of their other purse, or at home uncharged on the window sill. That person is me, me damn it!
Through the eyes of a fellow non-tech obsessed human being I am forced to see myself in true light. And it appears as thought I have slowly morphed into something I barely recognize. I am no longer a free soul never to be controlled by the bars of their cell phone service, but yet, I am also not cool enough to be a card carrying member of the Tech club. My phone is not smart, I do not have an App from Amazon downloaded, I can't check my email, and I have never even played Angry Birds.
I am some sort of awkward virtual world Hybrid. A bad combination of a semi busy schedule and a flip phone.
As our afternoon visit draws to a close I realize that I have some soul searching to do. I am not comfortable with this epiphany. Do I continue on this path and become one of the fully addicted, or do I dare to revert back to my former self that would just simply be unreachable for portions of the day? As soon as I check my messages and get this text sent I am going to do some serious self-evaluation.
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